Mental health is a subject that is very personal to me.

I have been through periods of depression myself and, although things have improved, I still have difficult days from time to time. I know what it feels like when simple, everyday tasks seem much harder than they normally would.

I am not a doctor or therapist, and I would never pretend to be an expert. I can only speak from my own experience and share some of the things that have helped me.

What works for one person may not work for another, but I hope something here might help you or someone you care about.

Talk to somebody

From my experience, keeping everything inside only makes it feel heavier.

Opening up can be difficult. You may not want to worry your family or friends, or you may feel that nobody will understand. Sometimes you do not even know how to explain what is happening.

You do not have to say everything at once. You could start with something as simple as, ‘I haven’t been feeling like myself lately’ or ‘I’m finding things difficult at the moment’.

Speaking to someone did not immediately solve everything for me, but it helped me feel less alone. Sometimes having somebody listen without judging you is more valuable than receiving advice.

If the first person does not respond as well as you had hoped, please do not give up. Some people genuinely care but do not know what to say. Try speaking to someone else or contact one of the support services listed below.

Ask for professional help

One of the most important things I learnt is that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

Depression is a genuine health condition. It is not something you can always overcome by thinking positively or telling yourself to cheer up.

If you have been feeling persistently low, hopeless or unlike yourself, please consider speaking to your GP. Be honest about how you feel and how it is affecting your sleep, appetite, work, relationships or ability to manage everyday life.

From my experience, it can help to write a few things down before the appointment. When you are sitting in front of somebody, it is easy to forget what you wanted to say or to play down how difficult things have been.

The right support will be different for everybody. It may include guided self-help, talking therapy, medication or a combination of approaches.

In England, adults can also refer themselves to NHS Talking Therapies without going through a GP first.

You can find more information about the symptoms and treatment of depression on the NHS website.

Start with something manageable

People often suggest exercise when someone is feeling low. While movement can help, I also know how difficult it can be to find the motivation.

From my experience, setting a big target can make things feel worse. If you tell yourself you need to complete a full workout and cannot manage it, you may end up feeling disappointed in yourself.

It does not have to be a workout. It could mean stretching for a few minutes, walking around the block or simply stepping outside for some fresh air.

Start with something that feels manageable to you. Even a very small amount still counts.

If you have not exercised for some time, take things gently. If you have a medical condition or injury, speak to a healthcare professional before beginning a new form of exercise.

Make food and drink as easy as possible

When I was going through a particularly difficult period, preparing a proper meal could feel like a much bigger job than it really was. Depression can affect your appetite as well as your motivation to shop, cook or look after yourself.

On difficult days, I found it better to aim for something manageable rather than trying to do everything perfectly.

That might mean keeping a few simple meals at home, choosing snacks that need little preparation or asking somebody to help with shopping or cooking. If a full meal feels too much, having something small is better than having nothing at all.

It can also help to keep a drink nearby and take regular sips. The NHS generally recommends six to eight cups or glasses of fluid a day, although everybody’s needs are different. Water is a simple choice, but other drinks and some foods also count towards your fluid intake. You can read the NHS guidance on hydration for more information.

Eating well, staying hydrated and being active can support your general wellbeing, but they should not be treated as replacements for professional mental health care.

Give yourself one thing to do

Something else I learnt from my own experience was not to overwhelm myself with a long list of things I thought I should be doing.

Choose one small thing.

It might be having a shower, opening the curtains, taking prescribed medication, eating breakfast, going outside for five minutes or sending a message to someone you trust.

There were days when I could manage more and days when I could not. I still experience that occasionally now.

If you cannot manage something today, it does not mean you have failed. Be patient with yourself and try again when you can. Recovery is not always straightforward, and everybody moves at their own pace.

Be careful with alcohol

Some people find themselves drinking more when they are anxious, lonely or depressed. Alcohol may provide a temporary escape, but it can disturb your sleep and make low mood or anxiety worse.

If you are concerned about your drinking, speak to your GP or another healthcare professional. You will not be the first person to ask for help, and you deserve support without judgement.

If you are worried about somebody else

Having been through difficult periods myself, I know that a simple message from somebody can mean more than they realise.

You do not need to be an expert to check in. You could simply say, ‘You don’t seem yourself at the moment. How are you doing?’

Give the person time to answer and try to listen without immediately offering solutions. Avoid telling them to cheer up or reminding them that other people have problems too. Even when well intended, comments like these can make somebody feel that their experience is being dismissed.

Practical support can also make a real difference. You might offer to sit with them while they telephone their GP, accompany them to an appointment, bring them something to eat or check in again the following day.

Where to get urgent help

If you or somebody else is in immediate danger, telephone 999 or go to A&E.

For confidential emotional support, you can telephone Samaritans free on 116 123, at any time of the day or night. You do not need to be suicidal to call.

Urgent mental health support is also available through the following services:

• England: Telephone NHS 111 and select the mental health option.

• Wales: Telephone NHS 111 and press 2.

• Scotland: Telephone NHS 24 on 111 and choose the mental health option.

• Northern Ireland: Telephone Lifeline free on 0808 808 8000.

You can call these services for yourself or because you are worried about somebody else. You do not need to know exactly what to say. Making the call is enough.

A final thought from me

I wanted to write this because I know how isolating depression can feel. Even when you are surrounded by people, it can seem as though you are dealing with everything on your own.

From my own experience, things can improve. Difficult days may still happen, as they sometimes do for me, but they do not take away the progress you have made.

If today feels overwhelming, try not to put pressure on yourself to fix everything at once. Choose one small step. Speak to somebody, arrange an appointment, eat something, have a drink or simply open the door and step outside for a moment.

Most importantly, please do not feel that you have to cope alone.

If sharing my experience helps even one person to ask for support or feel a little less isolated, then it was worth writing.

Take care,

Mehmet (Matt)
Co-owner, Hommix UK

This article contains general information and personal experience. It is not medical advice and is not a substitute for support from a qualified healthcare professional.